All the Rave

Faithful Readers,

It has been brought to my attention that New York City recently hosted a "silent rave." To my understanding, this modern phenomenon is basically a hosted event where individuals gather and listen to their own ipods and respective playlists. Let it sink in.

I'm hosting my own silent rave, and with the intention of encouraging a communal (and ecumenical) gathering thats unprecedented in its demographic scope, all participants must also wear a blindfold, have padded shoes, and wear the same cologne as not to stand out. Your mouth will also be taped. The fragrance will be unisex: CK One. I will also provide silk robes (like the ones Jesus and his disciples wore, or at least according to the prosperity gospel preachers- see Bill Maher's new documentary :) ) You will not need an Ipod Touch, because you will be blind and possibly wearing gloves (I haven't made up my mind). I suspect the event will require at least 2 gigs of music, so the Ipod Shuffle is also a no unless you want to listen to the same playlist as long as the communal gathering is taking place. You will not be allowed, under any circumstances whatsoever, to share music.

My silent rave will have a guest musician, but it doesn't really matter, because Esteban will also be blind, wearing gloves, dressed in a silk robe, wafting CK One and listening to his own Ipod (which will undoubtedly contain the only music that is truly from the heart: Esteban's).

I will post a date as soon as I'm able to ascertain a rough estimate of those that are interested. I will be the only person permitted to leave one ear bud out, because in the kingdom of the blind, deaf, and dumb, the person with one available ear is king.

I can't wait to share life with you!!!!!

Ryan T. Bradley
Transcendentalist